Staying Conscious of What Serves Me

You pray in your distress and in your need; would that you might pray also in the fullness of your joy and in your days of abundance.

-Khalil Gibran, The Prophet

Prayer is easy when you’re in distress and in need.  When you’ve reached the end of your rope, when you’ve thrown everything you’ve got at a problem and it’s still not enough, all that’s left is to pray.  Prayer comes as naturally to us in our utter hopelessness and despair as does eating in our hunger, or drinking in our thirst.

But, praying “in the fullness of [our] joy”?  If you’re like me, praying is the last thing on your mind when you’re feeling joyous.  On the contrary, the light of happy times seems to cast its halo over the dark times, as well, and I’m prone to think that perhaps it wasn’t as bad then as I thought it was.  Perhaps the resolution that seemed so miraculous in its unfolding at the time was merely a fortunate coincidence, mistaken for “God” in the depth of my despair and hopelessness.  Perhaps I’d better get my shit together in case I’m not so lucky next time.  And, for Christ’s sake, get all this God talk out of my head!

I can’t tell you all how happy I am to be home right now.  To be staying with family who I love.  To be surrounded by people who love and support me.  To be back on the gorgeous southern California coast with its superb sunsets (sorry, Tahiti, but I’m taking the prize back – nothing beats a hot pink Malibu sunset).  It’s easy to forget just how miserable I was only a few months ago.  How despairing.  How miraculous the resolution that unfolded.  It’s easy to rationalize the past.  To put “God” on the back burner.  To forget to pray.

I’ve followed that path more than once before, though, all the way to it’s miserable conclusion.  And it’s always a miserable conclusion.  I’m not doing it again.

So, that’s my challenge these days:  making room for “God” and for my spiritual practice in the midst of being pretty darn satisfied with my life in this moment.