In day 35, Warren tells us “God loves to use weak people” – our weaknesses are God’s strength.
As I was reading this chapter, I began to think about how humans use language to explain the world and how those explanations can be misunderstood, warped, and take on a life of their own. Warren refers to “Satan” in this chapter, and I bristled at this word and at the concept Warren intends to communicate with it – the notion that there is some external personification of Evil, separate from us, that tries to draw us away from an external, separate personification of Good. I’ve previously touched on the notion that words are just words and that we can discard words that don’t suit us for words that do (e.g. God = Good, Truth, Light, Being, etc.), but I found that word “Satan” to be such a stumbling block for me that I want to delve further into that topic.
The idea that we can replace words we don’t like with words we do is not mine. I got it from Eckhart Tolle, who says that words are merely symbols for describing what is – the word itself isn’t what’s important, what’s important is what the word is meant to symbolize. Shakespeare captured this truth well in Juliet’s line: “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.” A rose is a rose is a rose no matter what you call it. The same goes for Truth. You can call Truth anything you want. You can even deny Truth. But none of that makes Truth any less true.
So, we have Truth and we have not Truth. I think that’s a pretty useful binary model for describing our world. What more do you need, really? And it’s this Truth – along with the consequences of denying Truth – that religious texts seek to explain. You don’t have to be an adherent of a religion – or even a believer in God – to recognize the deep truths captured in its canons. Yet, sometimes language becomes a stumbling block to hearing those truths – we get caught on a word and what it symbolizes to us and cannot get past it to hear the truth it’s meant to explain.
For example, the word “Satan.” I hate that word. Every time I hear it or see it my mind closes to the speaker and I stop listening to what they’re saying, start labeling and categorizing them, and pretty much dismiss them as someone to whom I cannot (and do not want to) relate. That’s my own hang up, though, and a different topic for a different day, but the point here is that word “Satan” – what is meant to symbolize?
If we have only Truth and not Truth, and if religious texts seek only to explain Truth and the consequences of denying Truth, then we can choose to understand the word “God” to symbolize “Truth” and “Satan” to symbolize “not Truth.” We can choose to understand that Heaven is where we reside and joy is what we experience when we abide only in Truth, and that Hell and suffering are the consequences of abiding in not Truth (symbolized by the word “sinning”). Heaven and Hell do not need to symbolize otherworldly places our souls go after our bodies die. We can understand that we create Heaven or Hell right here and right now, each and every moment. We can be reborn in Truth every moment if we choose to be.
If it’s all just Truth and not Truth, then where did the concepts of God and Satan – external embodiments of Truth and not Truth, of Good and Evil – even come from? I personally see it as a way of alleviating human guilt over human imperfection. By personifying Truth as a perfect Being, separate from and external to us, we can not only relieve ourselves of the guilt of abiding in not Truth, but also of not even trying to abide in Truth because we’ve set the bar so high as to be unattainable. When someone does come along who manages to abide perfectly in Truth – Jesus Christ – we deify them so that we can continue to keep Truth separate from humanity and let ourselves off the hook for choosing to abide in not Truth instead of in Truth. “Satan” – the external personification of not Truth – is merely a means of denying responsibility for our actions: “It’s not my fault – Satan made me do it!”
That was a long sidebar, but it’s important not to let terminology stand in the way of understanding. If the symbol used to represent a concept doesn’t work for you, replace it with one that does. This book has been a constant exercise for me in doing just that.
Okay, weaknesses…I really loved this chapter. Admitting our weaknesses – even to ourselves – can be terrifying and painful enough, let alone embracing them. Yet, that’s exactly what Warren advocates in this chapter:
Admit your weaknesses. Own up to your imperfections…our weaknesses increase our capacity for sympathy and ministry. We are far more likely to be compassionate and considerate of the weaknesses of others…other people are going to find healing in your wounds. Your greatest life messages and your most effective ministry will come out of your deepest hurts. The things you’re most embarrassed about, most ashamed of, and most reluctant to share are the very tools God can use most powerfully to heal others.
It’s not only others who benefit when we admit our weaknesses:
It can be scary to lower your defenses and open up your life to others. When you reveal your failures, feelings, frustrations, and fears, you risk rejection. But the benefits are worth the risk. Vulnerability is emotionally liberating. Opening up relieves stress, defuses your fears, and is the first step to freedom.
I can vouch for all of that. We think that admitting our weaknesses makes us vulnerable, but I find that hiding them is where I feel most vulnerable. When you try to hide something, you have to constantly worry about being found out and protecting yourself from being found out, which is stressful. This means you can’t let anyone get too close, so loneliness and disconnection are the natural consequences of hiding. If you are found out, the shame can be paralyzing, even more so when you have no one to turn to for support because you’ve kept everyone at arm’s distance.
Bringing the things we’re ashamed of into the light is liberating, but it does require a certain amount of emotional fortitude. Some people will reject you, and you have to be prepared for that and be okay with it. If you’ve been hiding your true self, pretending to be someone you’re not, for a long time, you may find most of the people in your life will reject you when you drop the facade. This is normal – you’re not who they thought you were. This is also a good thing – by shedding yourself of shallow relationships built on not Truth, you make room for people who accept and love you, not who you pretend to be.
Perhaps this all sounds very basic and even obvious to the point of going without saying – something you learn as a child and never worry about again. But, there’s a reason Brené Brown is such a phenom right now. Despite what our parents tried to teach us, I think most of us learned how to bury our fears, insecurities and weaknesses deep inside us from and early age so that it’s become second nature to us – we don’t even realize we do it, we just think it’s who we are. And, because we create the world around us through projection, we are surrounded by people who are just like us – people who hide their fears, insecurities and weaknesses deep inside themselves, so deep they may not even remember they’re there, and who viciously defend themselves like an injured animal if you come too close to touching those old, festering wounds.
When you change your perception, when you stop being ashamed of your weaknesses, you upend your entire world. Warren says “The more you let down your guard, take off your mask, and share your struggles, the more God will be able to use you in serving others.” In other words, the more you accept and abide in Truth, the more joy you’ll experience.
TL;DR: No tl;dr for virtual book club posts.
