This book…
I hate this book some days. The emphasis on fear and guilt and unworthiness and obligation – despite all protestations by the author to the contrary – all but obscure any nugget of truth or value that might be found here. I have to work so hard to dig through the layers of nonsense and purposefully and intentionally search for the gems of truth buried there…
Why does he makes it so hard?
In day 29, Warren says we are called to serve God. I am going to focus on three statements he makes that I found useful and thought-provoking.
We don’t serve God out of guilt or fear or even duty, but out of joy…
Take the idea of God out of it – this statement says that we are to be joyful. If we’re not joyful, we’re doing something wrong. That’s a matter of belief, and I’d like to believe that that’s true – that we’re meant for joy. Warren says that service – helping others – brings us joy. This has definitely been true for me in my life. What about in yours?
Study without service leads to spiritual stagnation.
This is where I’m at right now, and perhaps where I’ve been for a long time. Lots of study, no service (even working in a “helping” industry). To say I feel stagnant is an understatement.
Service is the pathway to real significance.
A bold assertion. Can you honestly say you’ve felt significant doing anything other than helping others?
Of course, all of this has a flip side – when was the last time you allowed anyone – anyone at all: your spouse, sibling, parent, pastor, friend – to help you? When was the last time you asked for help? Real help, with something you needed but couldn’t handle on your own or pay someone to do for you?
I almost never ask for help. I don’t even want to admit I need help, let alone ask for it. Most of the time, I don’t even know what help I need, that’s how disconnected I am from myself let alone my family and friends. The thought of asking for real help and being pitied or, worse, considered a burden or, even worse, told to “get a grip” or something similar are too devastating to consider. I’d literally rather suffer in silence.
When we’re ashamed to need help, when we don’t feel we deserve help (because, as I suspect is true for most of the people reading this blog, we’re educated, we make (well) above average salaries, and we’re white – what more help could we possibly need?!), when our financial success (and the independence it enables) leads to a lack of compassion for ourselves and others, that’s when it becomes the source of our own disconnection. And then we fill the hole with food, no food, exercise, TV, alcohol, drugs, sex, shoes, you-name-it.
How can you help anyone if you can’t accept help yourself? Trick question – you can’t. You can’t even really know what help is if you can’t receive it. You may know what charity is, and pity, and sorrow, and judgment, but not help. Not compassion. Not empathy.
The joy we deny ourselves when we cannot give help to, and receive help from, others is tragic.
TL;DR: No tl;dr for virtual book club posts.
