Transformation

One’s destination is never a place but rather a new way of looking at things.

-Henry Miller

That quote comes from this article about solo travelling a friend shared with me recently.  I love this quote because it’s wonderfully insightful and absolutely true.  It’s “neat” to see new places, famous places, old places, glamorous places, but it’s only meaningful if you are transformed by the experience.  Travelling gets old fast if it isn’t about more than just saying you were there, seeing another old building, eating another new type of food, drinking a new kind of alcohol, sunbathing on another beach, golfing on another course, taking in another festival…unless, those things have personal meaning for you beyond mere entertainment and distraction.

Of course, transformation means being broken down and rebuilt.  You can’t stay old and become new at the same time.

I am in a breaking down phase right now.  I’m struggling to make sense of pretty much everything.  I feel a lot of confusion and I can’t really gather my thoughts around all of it.

This is affecting my writing, of course.  I can’t seem to give voice to the thoughts in my head, and everything I write feels jumbled and imprecise, sophomoric and pedestrian.  I thought about taking a sabbatical from blogging on account of this, but I’ve decided not to do that.  This is where I am right now and I wouldn’t be very true to the purpose of my blog if I were to walk away because I don’t feel like writing about it/in it/through it.  I’m going to keep writing, but it might not be very good for a little while – long-winded and directionless.

You’ve been forewarned.

And thanks, readers, for your ongoing and awesome support.  I love you.

TL;DR:  Feeling confused.